The Tummy Story Tradition – My mom has a special tradition – dubbed the “tummy story” – of telling each of us 4 kids the birth story on our birthday every year. I never tire of hearing it, and maybe that’s b/c it’s short and sweet and goes like this: “You were almost born in the car! When we got to the hospital and they asked for insurance, your dad said the baby was coming any moment, and lo and behold soon thereafter you were here!” She kept telling me that like in her experience, the second might come fast…Anyways, I’m writing down my dear Ellie’s birth story so I can continue to pass down the tummy story tradition.
Found out I was pregnant on Mother’s Day! Exactly a year ago on mother’s day, I found out I was pregnant with our second child – how sweet is that?! While we celebrated mother’s day with our broader family, I had a special glow not only basking in being a mama to a wonderful 1.5 yr old, but knowing that we now had a special secret that we were blessed w/ a second child on the way.
A smooth pregnancy with a couple of third tri bumps – Overall I was blessed with a relatively easy pregnancy like the first time around. I was notably more tired during the first trimester but otherwise had no nausea or other issues until my third trimester. At around 32 weeks pregnant, I had two issues crop up concurrently:
- Gestational diabetes – yes even a vegan half marathoner can get it! I tested just above the threshold of the 1 hour glucose test (that horribly disgusting tasting sugary drink) so they had me come back for the more diagnostic three hour glucose test which is fasting and they draw blood exactly on the hour every three hours after the glucola drink. Lo and behold, two of my results were just above threshold and they diagnosed me with gestational diabetes. I was super upset and surprised since I didn’t have too many risk factors (though I am over 35 and my maternal grandfather had diabetes). When reading about the risks to both mom and baby, which include higher chance of developing type 2 diabetes, macrosmoia (very large babies), babies with low blood sugar at birth and more, I was very anxious. Not to mention, I was hardly excited about the need to now check my blood sugars 4x/ day. Thankfully though I was able to adjust my diet slightly to (1) be more protein rich (to do so I did choose to temporarily become vegetarian vs. vegan to integrate eggs and cheese) and (2) cut out sweets altogether, and I was able to be diet controlled (so did not need insulin) the whole time and have normal blood sugar readings almost 100% of the time. I also found the book Real Food for Gestational Diabetes helpful as were some Facebook forums for moms with GD. Given I was able to stay diet controlled, they allowed me to go past 40 weeks pregnant (vs. on insulin often they induce at 39 wks). Additionally, they checked Ellie’s blood sugars at birth and 4 times in 24 hours post birth and thankfully hers were normal too.
- Belly was “measuring small” : Starting at 30 weeks they measure your belly and the number in centimerters should correlate to weeks pregnant . At 30 weeks I was right on track but at 34 weeks I was still measuring to 30 weeks and I had stopped gaining weight so they did a growth ultrasound. While my OBGYN reinforced that the ruler measurements are often imprecise, I was pretty freaked out awaiting the ultrasound results, but thankfully the growth ultrasound showed she was right on track. At 38 weeks, for the same reasons, they ordered another growth ultrasound and thankfully it also showed she was right on track and in fact was projected to be ~8 lbs. Ultimately she was an 8 lb 3 oz. baby so not small at all and I have a theory that while I stopped gaining weight due to my diet adjustments from GD (especially no sweets), thankfully she kept growing just fine. In all I gained ~20 lbs vs. the recommended 25-35 lbs for me but there were no issues b/c of this.
The second comes fast they say… Like with my mom’s experience with me (I’m the second of four children), a lot of my friends who are moms of 2+ kids warned me that the second often comes after much shorter labor so not to delay with going to the hospital once labor started (especially with Los Angeles traffic).
In active labor but didn’t know it! My son Luca came at 41 weeks and I had no early labor signs with Ellie and sensed she would also “go long”. In line with my intuition, my due date came and went uneventfully. At 41 weeks, consistent with Kaiser policy, they brought me in for a non stress test (where they hook you up for fetal monitoring). Lo and behold, during the monitoring, the screen was showing I was having contractions and they weren’t sporadic. In fact, every 3 minutes I was having contractions that were a minute in duration. Now all new parents know the “5-1-1” rule as the signal to head to labor & delivery (=contractions every 5 minutes that are 1 minute each for 1 hour). So according to the NST I was in active labor but didn’t even know it- maybe I was too distracted chasing around my toddler or maybe it was just still very early labor. They recommended I get checked by OBGYN, and she took one look at me and how I was still smiling and relaxed and even though I was 41 wks with contractions and 4 cm dilated, she recommended I go home and come back when contractions were more painful (and specifically said at Kaiser “6 cm is the new 4 cm” meaning they generally want you to be 6 cm dilated before they admit you, especially if you’re not in pain yet). This was Jan. 23 the night before my birthday so we heeded her advice and went for a sunset beach walk (albeit a slow one) and even went out to a birthday dinner at my favorite vegan spot Seabirds. I was convinced this would be the final meal before she arrived, but boy was I wrong!
Some anxiety about labor given traumatic first delivery – Our son Luca had a major emergency at birth where he suddenly stopped breathing and needed to be resuscitated and intubated despite being a full term baby with no signs of distress during pregnancy or labor. He then spent a week in the NICU for an infection of the lungs so I was definitely nervous about labor base on our first experience (see his full birth story here).
3 days later she arrived! After Jan. 23td non stress test, I suspected we would share a birthday on Jan 24th but that too came and passed uneventfully. On Saturday morning Jan. 25th at 3 am I observed what I was thought was water leaking but not full bag of water breaking since there was no gush but just a slight trickle. I called labor and delivery and they recommended I come in and they checked me and confirmed it was just a trickle of fluid. At this point they did offer to admit me but I chose to go home to rest since I still wasn’t feeling painful contractions. That afternoon I finally did feel the painful contractions – the kind you don’t want to talk through and need to pause to breathe and went back in (again!) knowing she was coming soon. I knew I wanted an epidural (had a dreamy epidural experience the first time) but held off until I felt I really needed it to try to have labor progress as much as possible first. Ultimately I did opt for pitocin since I was still at 4 cm even after days (!) of laboring – the pitocin got me to 5-7 cm after about 6 hours and then the doctor offered to break my bag of waters; while I had abstained from this with Luca w/ the desire to minimize intervention, I decided I was ready for her to come and it was low risk from what the OBGYN explained. After my water broke, I was ready to push about 10 minutes later! Now I hated the pushing part with Luca and again with Ellie. The ability to release and relax the pelvic floor was not natural to me at all (and I read that sometimes for runners and those who do bar method it can be more natural to have a tight pelvic floor and more challenging in turn to learn to relax- more on that in this great book The Fourth Trimester). I even recall saying “I f*cking hate this part.” But with some coaching from the nurse and the steady support of Marcus, about 50 minutes later at 12:51 am on January 26th our beautiful daughter Ellie Golda Rosenthal was born with a very full head of wild dark hair and a loud healthy cry. I held her skin to skin, and in the miracle of the moment remember an utter joy, deep exhaustion and anxiety about whether she would keep breathing (which thankfully she did). We were blessed beyond measure with another beautiful healthy child.
Ellie’s name – Ellie Golda Rosenthal:
- Ellie – We chose Ellie because we loved the name, which means “God of mine” in Hebrew and “Shining light” in Greek so taken together invokes a divine light
- Golda – Golda was my grandma Hana’s oldest sister, who herself was a young mother pictured below, and sadly both she and her baby perished in Auschwitz along with all of my grandma’s siblings and her parents. We honor and carry on her memory through our daughter.
So this mother’s day, in these uniquely isolating and stressful times, I hold Ellie (and Luca) tight knowing these moments are fleeting as she is already changing so much so fast. And a special prayer for all the mamas and mamas-to-be and those trying for continued health (physical and mental) during these challenging times.
have induced if necessary (as my outlook was focused on ‘healthy mom, healthy
baby’ and staying flexible in terms of how and when he would come), I was hoping that baby would come on his own w/ less upfront intervention. I continued to stay very active walking 4-5 miles a day, doing prenatal yoga and also started drinking raspberry leaf tea a couple times a day (who knows if it really works to speed things along but figured it couldn’t hurt). The week leading up to labor I also started to get what felt like strong stomach cramps (akin to menstrual cramps), and usually would feel these during my walks, but since the cramping was sustained for a period of 20 minutes or so and didn’t come and go in waves, I knew that they weren’t labor contractions.
|The day he was born in the NICU and now|
|The day he was born in the NICU|
core). I’m also continuing to eat very healthy and have been especially craving warm soups, sweet potatoes, fried tofu and/or chickpeas, nutritional yeast on everything, oatmeal/ granola, lots of healthy fats (avocado, nuts and nut butters, coconut oil, etc.), and coconut water. I’m also very much enjoying herbal lactation teas from Yogi tea that are supposed to help with relaxation and milk supply. I still am drinking
coffee every morning, which many recommend abstaining from during breastfeeding but I love my coffee and it is very much helping me during these first couple months of reduced sleep.
Life as a new mom
|On my birthday reveling in this beautiful card|
I feel very spoiled to have my amazing husband as full time support right now, which I think makes the adjustment to parenting a much more positive experience relative to those who are navigating a lot of the early weeks on their own. He is a true partner
who changes almost all the diapers (even in the middle of the night), helps soothe and comfort Luca, reads and plays with him and so much more. He infinite patience and sense of humor is so nourishing to both of us. And we are able to trade off watching him to allow each other to take some deep naps or go for solo walks / bike rides to get in some rejuvenating adult solo time too. While I have always been big on self care, during these early weeks of significant sleep reduction and the challenges of developing confidence to care for our baby, it has been so critical to help stay in a positive place and especially to cultivate patience. On the topic of sleep, during the first couple weeks at home I was sleeping an average 3 hours at night, but had an incredible surge of adrenaline and was doing everything they advise against– namely cleaning the entire house, cooking and more. As a lifelong 8+ hour sleeper, I was very nervous about surviving on little sleep but the hormones do kick in to sustain round-the-clock feedings. I did try to slow down a bit, and now thankfully he is starting to sleep in longer ~4 hour stretches (fingers crossed this will stick around) so starting to get a solid 6-7 hours of sleep at night, which these days is great!
to get this for $550 by buying a store display through a local seller that specializes in lightly used or store display baby gear. We are very happy with this stroller so far as it navigates the cracks in the road well and we are also using the bassinet for him to sleep in sometimes.
needed to stimulate my milk supply, especially with a baby in the NICU who was not able to start breastfeeding until day. This hands free pumping bra made pumping so much easier and should be very useful when going back to work.
unzip for middle of the night diaper changes. The only thing to consider is the newborn size seems to run a bit smaller than they say as our baby already outgrew them at 9 lbs and 22″ and we needed to size up to a small. UPDATE: We since have tried the ‘Love to dream’ swaddle and like it even better! It doesn’t bunch up near his face and keeps his arms up in the soothing position he likes.
have baby with you throughout the day, and Luca likes to sleep/ nap in it too.
8. Cushioned lounger – Admittedly this is not really necessary as it’s somewhat duplicative with the Fisher Price Rock ‘N Play as something to have him nap in, but it’s fun to have him right up on the couch or bed with us in it and he likes lounging in it.
9. Books: The First Forty Days– Beautiful read with self care tips for mama
pregnancy is totally aches and pains free, and I have definitely been experiencing baby kicking my ribs over the past few weeks and did have a scare of what felt like pre-term labor at 26 weeks (in hindsight believe it was dehydration), but overall have thankfully been feeling very well and am sharing some things that have helped me.
Every woman’s body is so unique and different, and every pregnancy
experience will of course be unique, but I am hoping that some of these may help.
- Oakland: Barefoot studio – This was just a few blocks from my work in downtown Oakland and offered daily prenatal yoga classes, which is very rare (most studios offer prenatal 1-2x / week if they offer it at all). And not only do they offer daily classes but they are the most affordable too with unlimited prenatal for ~$65/ month and a first time student special of $40/ month if you are new to the studio.
- Los Angeles: Any classes with Keya Nikoni – she teaches at YogaWorks Playa Vista, Moving Joint in Mar Vista and Red Diamond Yoga in Culver City. Her energy is so grounding and nurturing and you get a great stretch too. She also offers partner workshops and is a doula. I also enjoyed Bridgette’s Monday / Wed. mid-day class at YogaWorks Montana in Santa Monica, which has a nice gentle pace.
pregnancy (okay probably second to prenatal vitamins & iron pills, but this is really high on the list and I am pretty obsessed with it). My sister, who like me is petite, gifted this to me and mentioned that it is apparently especially great for petite women, and I have absolutely loved it. Sometimes after I get up my husband will crawl into it and he loves it too. I love it so much that I bought a second one to keep at my parent’s house for when I visit, and I even recommended this to a non-pregnant friend
who was having sleeping issues and she loves it too. I started using this towards the end of my first trimester, probably before I needed to, and plan to continue to use it for a while after baby arrives.
propped up by 1-2 pillows. Some doctors/ websites/ yoga teachers don’t recommend back sleeping but I am hearing more
and more that the science is coming around to suggest that it can be okay for some women, and since I feel very in touch with my body and baby (he moves a ton and lets me know when he is unhappy for example I cannot sleep on my right side), I think this has been fine for me and my doctor has been okay with it.
the lower back. Since my pre-pregnancy weight was 105 lbs and I gained 25 lbs throughout my pregnancy, I gained nearly 25% of my original body weight, which is in a good and healthy range and thankfully baby is measuring well, but I did intermittently feel like I needed
a little extra support for my back. Based on Amazon reviews, I tried this Azmed belly belt and it worked very well for me. I did not need to use it daily and would only use it when I felt I needed it, which was more towards my third trimester, esp. during work days when I was sitting more often.
Especially toward the end of my third trimester, I have been finding that I am feeling extra hot / flushed, esp. at night. This is caused by hormones and exacerbated by the California heat waves we had been experiencing, and this little handheld fan has been surprisingly effective to cool me down and I plan to pack this in my hospital bag too for labor.
· Books: My dear friend Nadine who is also having a baby boy recommended this birth partner book for my husband (who will be my acting doula / labor support as I decided not to go w/ a doula), and we actually both read it and found it very helpful to supplement the childbirth prep classes we took.
Iron Pills: If you are vegan or vegetarian, it is really important to get enough iron during pregnancy. Given that blood volume increases during pregnancy, iron is so critical and while it is pretty common from what I learned to have slight anemia during pregnancy, this is likely more common among vegetarians even if you are vigilant about eating high iron foods like spinach, nuts & legumes, dried apricots/ figs, etc. I found out that I was slightly anemic early in my second trimester after some blood tests and started taking iron pills with orange juice (vitamin C helps absorption); in hindsight, I would have started taking these in my first trimester.